I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
