Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
foreskin is a definite game changer
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
