4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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