Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
