We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
