i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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