butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
