FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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