69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
only you would photoshop your dick
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
