omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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