I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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