It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
