He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
