I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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