North Korea, Best Korea!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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