i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
