I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
