How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
