There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How external is "for external use only"?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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