Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wanna passion pit in your ass
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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