I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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