If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
