Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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