I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
