I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Found the puke drawer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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