you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
