they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
