So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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