This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
