Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
