If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
