the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
