I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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