whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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