u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
