I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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