You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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