tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
