You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
