I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
