I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
one might say we're banned from that church
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
