she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
