For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
