I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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