How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
