Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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