You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
