Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
