at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
