the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
