she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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