Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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